These are some good times.
I have two take-home finals to go, I’m moved into my new apartment, and my bike will be ready to go tomorrow. I have very little weighing on my mind right now, except for the usual things, like romance (lack thereof), the fact that I haven’t gone to the gym in a few days (last meal: bagel), and that I graduate in two years (WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE?) But this stuff is always there, and will likely always exist in my mind.
But as you probably have not noticed, I haven’t posted in a while and that’s because I usually write about whatever crisis or entity my life is currently revolving around. For the first time in a really long time, there’s no sun to orbit. It’s not that I’m aimless—I’m in college, I declared my majors a month ago—I’m just finally chilling. This is a bizarre feeling. I’ve been trying to fill free time by unpacking and organizing and trips to K-Mart, but there’s also been a lot of sleeping and watching of prime time Shonda Rhimes dramas. It. Is. Awesome.
I’ve fought so hard this past year to keep myself busy, to stay stressed, to stay in an internship position or a place at the paper. I worked so hard at one point it made me physically ill, and I still tried to work through that. I admit it: I thrive on passing out at midnight after a really long day, subsequently annoying my nocturnal roommate by forcing her to get dressed in the dark. And yet, damn, I love not having to check my e-mail every ten seconds. I love zoning out and staying up not having to worry about waking up at a certain time. I kind of love putting off these last two finals (don’t worry Mom, aka my only reader, I’ll do them in time).
I actually have time to evaluate the stuff I was too busy to think about, like that fact that I haven’t been on a real, authentic date in a million years, and I actually think I want a real, authentic date sooner than in a million years. But that’s really the only conclusion I’ve came to, and I have yet to drum up a solution. Hopefully I’ll get too busy to think about it, once again, and a lucky gentleman will be attracted to my super sexy helmet from K-Mart (I promise I’m not endorsing K-Mart. I have made no promotional deals with K-Mart. K-Mart, if you’re reading this, you should totally strike a deal with me.)
The new apartment is amazing. We went through a hell of a lot to get this apartment. I’m the first one to move in, so it’s a little lonely, and I may or may not have freaked out tonight when I turned on the stove, thought I smelled gas, and called security who sent a maintenance guy who informed me that the smell was just “new oven smell.” And he had a meter thing to prove that there was in fact no gas. But, no, I ordered pizza instead of making the frozen Trader Joe’s meal. My room is spacious, and I have no real furniture at the moment so I’m sleeping on an air mattress and using a plastic bin filled with pajamas as my side table. The furniture I ordered started coming, but the first piece that came was the lamp for my nightstand. The nightstand that hasn’t come yet. Whatever, the lamp looks great on the plastic bin.
I can’t wait for the summer to start. I love this free time, but I’m also ecstatic to start Italian classes, my internship. Even though I really am enjoying doing pretty much nothing, I think I’ll always need something. My career, my friends, the constant action—it drives me. Sometimes it makes me sick, but it also keeps me going. Not to mention that I wore cargo pants and a sweatshirt today, and yoga pants the day before: my wardrobe really needs a job.